Christmas Lite

How many Christmases have I spent overwhelmed, overcommitted and just plain tired? More than I can count unfortunately. This year is different. I cut back on everything. No Christmas lights, no gifting the extraneous people in my life (neighbors, coworkers, etc) no mass batches of holiday fudge, and most of all a severely limited gift budget. You may say, Bah Humbug – For me, this is the merriest Christmas in a long time.

This all started in early December when our first tax bill was due on our newish house. I was paying bills and trying to not pull from saving while covering the first tax installment and the amex bill which I had recently charged holiday airline tickets (along with a few other pricy excursions)

We often fly to visit my family in Ohio for the holidays, there are deals to be found from LAX to the Midwest, but for the holidays only if you a) booked sometime around last Christmas; b) are willing to arrive Christmas morning and leave just before Christmas dinner; or c) perform sexual favors on airline employees. This year for booking in late November and my strict moral code, I think we did well: 12/24-12/29, tickets for 2 on flights that don’t connect via New Dehli, $650.

Here’s the thing – Lets do a little math on just travel alone:

• Flights: $650
• 6 nights Lodging for the Jackal(s) : $210
• Airport Parking: $72
• Gas to the airport, bottled water, people magazines and other traveling cross-country essentials: $75(minimum)

Bam, there is over 1000 bucks right there. No holiday cheer, no eggnog, no reindeer sweater.

And so I put my foot down, extravagant Christmas no more. We are not going to be around for Christmas, so no holiday decorations, just a $12 wreath on the front door. Budgets for my husband and I ($250 each). Family: $300 and the in-laws – household gifts (a holly plant, box of Florida oranges, etc) per household, not individual gifts. All of my shopping, I did it all online, most everyone had free shipping deals. I had it shipped as gift or plan to wrap it once I arrive. I won’t try to fly with fragile gifts, stand in line at the post office or waste time search my desk for scotch tape.

I felt practical and it felt good, like just after you balance a checkbook and it all looks good. But as the holidays grew closer I encountered an unexpected side effect of my practicality. I was actually enjoying the holidays more. I mostly avoided the malls, but the occasional trip to Target was bearable. I hummed along to holiday music and experienced little “shopping cart rage” Before friends’ holiday parties, rather than spending hours making cheese balls and water chestnuts wrapped in bacon, I watched a movie with my husband and grabbed a bottle of wine on my way out the door.

Has anyone been disappointed? No. Have I missed all the hype? Not at all.

Not not trying becomes not not not not trying?

My hubby came home the other night and nochalantly announce that he was ready for me to have a baby. Followed up with a, "So do we have anything in the fridge, or do you want to try that new place?"

Huh, what?

Let me back up, as I have mentioned a few times here, in this my new blog -- AKA where-I-can-tell-the secerets-I-am-afraid-to-admit-elsewhere -- we are officially not not trying. What is involved in not not trying you asks? Well its a simple recipe of:

• 1 cup of no more birth control
• 2 TBS of we aren't getting any younger
• A Pinch of if not now, when

Stir together with a fanatically reading of Mommy blogs to prepare for the impending loss of sleep, independance. Bake for 28ish days until you erupt in tears unsure if you are really ready for this.
Repeat

The not not trying was really for me. My husband has dreams of becoming a tan old man, playing golf, flying airplanes, living the good life in Boca Raton. He has no tick-tock biological clock. Stop bc? Ok, sure. Quit my job if it happens? As long as we can pay the bills, ok.

And now this. What does one do with this? Do I scurry into action and chart every bodily function like some giant science experiment? Do I post every detail of my sex life in hopes discovering some sort of pattern? Do I have a glass of wine with dinner, worried that an alien being has taken up residence in my business?

Help!

A job you love?

I am debating quitting my job. I don't have another job, or other plans. - Just good old fashion, "I quit!"

I am convinced that I am over-qualified, under-paid, etc. More than anything, I am sure that I hate this job. So what do I do now?

A little background, we live in southern California – but not nice soCal, crappy desert soCal – Too far (for me) to commute into LA. So I am left with desert opportunities – I am probably in the best official position I could ever find in the area. Really, all that is left is working for myself, freelancing, etc. I fear that I would fail at it, sure, but also I fear that I would hate that job just as much.

So as I debate the I quit moment in my head, which gets foggier every day, I think what job did I love? And when I am honest with myself, I realize none of them.

How about these cookies?

Oh yeah! - Its time to get your bake on.
Thanks to Jen for The First Annual Virtual Cookie Exchange idea. Wow. what a good one.

This recipe is from a Gourmet magazine a few years back. I love Sara Moulton. I don't see her as often on Food Network anymore, which is shame. She is the really deal - not one of those eye candy chefs who seems to be holding a wooden spoon for the first time in their lives. I digress.
Try these little lemon sandwhich cookies and you'll never pick up another oreo. Maybe.

Petite Lemon Curd Cookies

Basic Butter Cookies:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Lemon curd:
3/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon finely grated fresh lemon zest
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, cut into bits
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 large egg yolks

1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar for dredging and dusting

To make the cookies:Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a small bowl.
Beat together butter and sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer at medium-high speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes in a standing mixer (preferably fitted with paddle attachment) or 6 with a handheld. Beat in egg and vanilla. Reduce speed to low, then add flour mixture and mix until just combined.
Form dough into 2 balls and flatten each into a 6-inch disk. Chill disks, wrapped in plastic wrap, until firm, at least 1 hour.

To make the lemon curd: Simmer lemon juice, zest, sugar, butter, cornstarch, and salt in a 2-quart heavy saucepan over moderately high heat, whisking constantly, 1 minute. Lightly beat yolks in a small bowl, then add 1/4 cup lemon mixture, whisking. Add yolk mixture to remaining lemon mixture, then reduce heat to low and cook, whisking constantly, until curd is thick enough to hold marks of whisk, about 2 minutes. Transfer to a bowl, then cover surface with plastic wrap and chill while rolling out dough.

Back to the cookies: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. While oven preheats, roll out 1 piece of dough (keep remaining dough chilled) into a 9-inch round (slightly less than 1/4-inch thick) on a well-floured surface with a well-floured rolling pin. (If dough becomes too soft to roll out, chill on a baking sheet until firm.) Cut out as many cookies as possible with 1 ¼” round cutter.

Bake cookies until edges are golden, 8 to 10 minutes. Dredge warm cookies in confectioners' sugar until coated and transfer to a rack to cool completely. Make more cookies in same manner.

Put them all together: Transfer lemon curd to pastry bag or plastic bag (snip an 1/8-inch opening in a corner of plastic bag). Put 1 cookie upside down on work surface and pipe about 1/2 teaspoon lemon curd onto cookie, then top with another cookie, right side up, to form a sandwich. Make more sandwiches in same manner.

Just before serving, sift some remaining confectioners' sugar over tops of sandwiched cookies.

Messy messy

One puppy...


...stuck in a crate with a pig ear stuck under a towel equals one big mess.








"I did all of that?"

MIA

So I know I have been missing in action as of late. Here is the thing: We got a puppy. See....




... but here is the other thing: She is a LOT OF WORK!!!

Don't get me wrong; I really enjoy it. She is goofy and cute and warm and cuddly when she falls asleep on you lap. But then you want to get up and, oh I don't know, get like one thing done, she wakes up and looks at you and whimpers and cries until you put her back on your lap. And then at night, well she doesn’t let you sleep much.

Enough of the Negative Nancy. Really it’s fun. And it’s getting better. Here’s where I get scared, my husband and I are trying to have kids.

… There I said it. I think it’s the first time I put it in writing. I’ve been off the pill for a few months and its not that we are so much trying – we are “not not trying” And so I have spent the last few months coming to terms with this Mommy concept. (that is about 10 posts to itself) And now I have a puppy and I am questioning all that coming to terms business. If a couple months of puppieness is driving me nuts, who am I to even consider signing up for 18 years of parenthood.

A friend with three young daughters and no pets said the other day, “A puppy, I had one for 12 hours once. They are way harder at first than kids. Babies have diapers and can’t run away from you. No one ever says their baby chewed up their sofa.” Is she right? Or is she just trying to make me feel better?