Christmas Lite

How many Christmases have I spent overwhelmed, overcommitted and just plain tired? More than I can count unfortunately. This year is different. I cut back on everything. No Christmas lights, no gifting the extraneous people in my life (neighbors, coworkers, etc) no mass batches of holiday fudge, and most of all a severely limited gift budget. You may say, Bah Humbug – For me, this is the merriest Christmas in a long time.

This all started in early December when our first tax bill was due on our newish house. I was paying bills and trying to not pull from saving while covering the first tax installment and the amex bill which I had recently charged holiday airline tickets (along with a few other pricy excursions)

We often fly to visit my family in Ohio for the holidays, there are deals to be found from LAX to the Midwest, but for the holidays only if you a) booked sometime around last Christmas; b) are willing to arrive Christmas morning and leave just before Christmas dinner; or c) perform sexual favors on airline employees. This year for booking in late November and my strict moral code, I think we did well: 12/24-12/29, tickets for 2 on flights that don’t connect via New Dehli, $650.

Here’s the thing – Lets do a little math on just travel alone:

• Flights: $650
• 6 nights Lodging for the Jackal(s) : $210
• Airport Parking: $72
• Gas to the airport, bottled water, people magazines and other traveling cross-country essentials: $75(minimum)

Bam, there is over 1000 bucks right there. No holiday cheer, no eggnog, no reindeer sweater.

And so I put my foot down, extravagant Christmas no more. We are not going to be around for Christmas, so no holiday decorations, just a $12 wreath on the front door. Budgets for my husband and I ($250 each). Family: $300 and the in-laws – household gifts (a holly plant, box of Florida oranges, etc) per household, not individual gifts. All of my shopping, I did it all online, most everyone had free shipping deals. I had it shipped as gift or plan to wrap it once I arrive. I won’t try to fly with fragile gifts, stand in line at the post office or waste time search my desk for scotch tape.

I felt practical and it felt good, like just after you balance a checkbook and it all looks good. But as the holidays grew closer I encountered an unexpected side effect of my practicality. I was actually enjoying the holidays more. I mostly avoided the malls, but the occasional trip to Target was bearable. I hummed along to holiday music and experienced little “shopping cart rage” Before friends’ holiday parties, rather than spending hours making cheese balls and water chestnuts wrapped in bacon, I watched a movie with my husband and grabbed a bottle of wine on my way out the door.

Has anyone been disappointed? No. Have I missed all the hype? Not at all.

Not not trying becomes not not not not trying?

My hubby came home the other night and nochalantly announce that he was ready for me to have a baby. Followed up with a, "So do we have anything in the fridge, or do you want to try that new place?"

Huh, what?

Let me back up, as I have mentioned a few times here, in this my new blog -- AKA where-I-can-tell-the secerets-I-am-afraid-to-admit-elsewhere -- we are officially not not trying. What is involved in not not trying you asks? Well its a simple recipe of:

• 1 cup of no more birth control
• 2 TBS of we aren't getting any younger
• A Pinch of if not now, when

Stir together with a fanatically reading of Mommy blogs to prepare for the impending loss of sleep, independance. Bake for 28ish days until you erupt in tears unsure if you are really ready for this.
Repeat

The not not trying was really for me. My husband has dreams of becoming a tan old man, playing golf, flying airplanes, living the good life in Boca Raton. He has no tick-tock biological clock. Stop bc? Ok, sure. Quit my job if it happens? As long as we can pay the bills, ok.

And now this. What does one do with this? Do I scurry into action and chart every bodily function like some giant science experiment? Do I post every detail of my sex life in hopes discovering some sort of pattern? Do I have a glass of wine with dinner, worried that an alien being has taken up residence in my business?

Help!